Yesterday
by LC Scott
Summary: Arthur Kirkland is invited to a housewarming party by his friend Kiku Honda. While at this party Arthur is suddenly reunited with Alfred F Jones, the ex-love of his life. In their brief exchange Arthur is flooded with memories of the amazing firsts they shared and their heart wrenching lasts. (Human AU US/UK/US)


**A/N: **I've been working on this story since June 22 2013, and I have finally finished it! It only took me over a year, and one rewrite. I would like to thank my dear friend Ally. for helping me edit this fic over and over again. Many late nights have been dedicated to this story. I'd also like to say that while it is named "Yesterday" it is not based off of the song by The Beatles. I was going for Your Ex Lover is Dead by Stars, which is a good song that I highly recommend.

This fic can also be found on Ao3 where I am known as Archduke. Let it be noted that there's a sexual encounter here that's not really elaborated on, nothing is described in detail. (I also hate to be that person who has a bunch of breaks in their fic, but that's how this turned out, sorry!) Anyway, without further ado, I present to you: Yesterday!

* * *

Arthur Kirkland stood awkwardly at the door of his friends new house with a twelve pack of cheap beer in his white-knuckle grip. Kiku, owner of said house, had invited Arthur to a housewarming party. Arthur didn't peg Kiku as being the type to have a housewarming party, but he accepted the invitation anyway. Kiku was more of the quiet type, and Arthur wasn't really the party type, but he figured if it was going to be a party at Kiku's house it wouldn't be that big and there wouldn't be a lot going on. Arthur figured he was safe from being forced to have unwanted and fake sugar sweet conversations with multiple people at Kiku's house, they had the same values it seemed.

Kiku had said that the party was going to be just a small gathering, and that Arthur didn't have to bring anything. Arthur brought something anyway, and the twelve pack seemed to get heavier and heavier in his grip as he just stared at the door. He'd arrived a little late and was feeling a little nervous about ringing the door bell. It was just a small button, but it felt like a large action.

Arthur started to reason with himself. He didn't have to ring the doorbell, and he didn't have to knock. He could just go home. There would be an alibi of course. Something along the lines of, "Oh I'm terribly, sorry. I was extremely sick and couldn't even reach my mobile to phone you," or a, "it was the twentieth? I thought you said the thirtieth!" After a quick thought, Arthur deemed those too rude for someone he'd only been friends with for a year, but maybe next time.

Begrudgingly putting all of his negative thoughts behind him and faking a tight grin, Arthur rang the doorbell. He took in a deep breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth. "You'll have fun, and if you don't, you can always leave early," he thought to himself as the doorknob began to move.

"Oh! Arthur! There you are. Welcome, this is my new house. Please come in," Kiku said holding the door open. The shorter man had a warm and genuine smile on his face while Arthur had a wide toothy grin across his face. Arthur stepped in the doorway and turned to watch as Kiku closed the door behind him.

"Here, I'll take that," Kiku started as he took the twelve pack from Arthurs hands, "Please, take off your shoes and make yourself at home! My friend helped me put this little thing together. Maybe later I can introduce you to him, he's funny and loud, but mostly funny. The living room is straight ahead, and I'll be in the kitchen to our left if you need me. Anyway, please make yourself comfortable, and most importantly, enjoy yourself!" With that, Kiku left Arthur alone to his thoughts. Arthur looked around the small hallway that led into a living space and shrugged.

If you can't beat 'em join 'em I suppose, Arthur bitterly thought to himself as he walked towards the rest of the people.

Upon reaching what Arthur suspected to be the living room, he saw a small group of people engaging in conversation. Including himself, there were 4 other people in the living room. Some he had encountered in small conversation once upon a time, and then others he hadn't had the chance to meet yet, and probably wouldn't have the decency to introduce himself to. Arthur was like that. It'd been awhile since he had been to a party. The last party Arthur remembered being at was when he was with his ex-boyfriend, and Arthur tried not to remember those days too much. The memories of those days hurt, and Arthur put all of the blame on himself. In Arthur's eyes, he was the only person at fault.

In an attempt to push the wretched memories and their disgusting feelings that were trying to resurface, Arthur sat on the empty end of one of the couches and forced himself to focus on something, anything, or anyone in the room. His eyes danced across the room looking from people to pots sitting on side tables. Nothing was interesting enough for him to assess. Arthur sat twiddling his thumbs and letting his ears catch up with others conversations. There was talk about how beautiful the house was, or how nice it was to be seeing everyone in the same place again. He could tell that there were more people in the kitchen talking and sharing drinks with one another. Arthur was half content with listening to these people. He didn't need to talk to anyone right now. All he needed was himself, even if he did happen to look out of place away from the small group a few feet away from him.

Becoming bored with moving his thumbs back and forth Arthur let his eyes wander around the room again. This time he side-eyed the group of people he was currently sharing the room with. At the moment there were two men with random curls sticking out of their hair fighting with each other. They looked like they could be twins. A burly man with blond hair looked at them like he knew there was nothing he could do, but was urging them to stop anyway. Another man with tanned skin and messy dark brown hair put his hand on one of the twins' shoulder, much to that twins disdain.

Arthur soon got bored watching the one twin getting riled up while the other seemed like he was going to cry. He looked towards the kitchen to see if he could people watch all the way from where he was seated.

Then it happened. Arthur's eyes landed on a specific yet unexpected person. The shoulder length blond hair and scruffy chin were a dead giveaway. It was Francis Bonnefoy.

Francis wasn't the source of Arthur's internal lament, but the was an old "friend". The two of them had been friends, more or less, until recent events. Arthur blamed himself for the end of their friendship, too. It was just another thing Arthur didn't want to think about.

The gears in Arthurs mind turned and clicked on a horrifying assumption. Arthur assumed that if Francis was at the party, then Francis' boyfriend was too, and that would mean that Arthur's ex-boyfriend could possibly be in the kitchen. Arthur's eyes widened. He had to leave. That was an unneeded confrontation that Arthur wouldn't allow himself to be apart of, physically or sober.

He looked at the watch on his wrist. Arthur had only been at the party for fifteen minutes. He grimaced at the fact. How could this much have happened in only fifteen minutes? It seemed almost unreal. Nevertheless, he had already greeted Kiku and seen his sitting room. That was enough for one night. Arthur could leave. He controlled his own life and he could do whatever he wanted to, especially if that included running away from something that might not even happen.

Arthur rose from his spot on the couch and looked towards the kitchen. He wondered if the twelve pack he brought was gone yet, maybe he could take it home with him and put it to good use.

Out of the corner of his eye Arthur saw Kiku walking into another room. Arthur sprang up from his spot on the couch and quickly walked towards Kiku and tapped him on the shoulder. "I'm sorry to say this, but I've got to leave. I don't really feel too well and I don't want to be a burden. Sorry mate." The words flew out of Arthur's mouth quickly. Everything about him was in a rush, even his heart beat. Especially his heart beat.

"Oh that's a bummer, Arthur. I was hoping you'd get to stay a little longer. My friend brought a cake and everything. Speaking of my friend, you should meet him before you go! Come, follow me." Kiku's tone was hopeful. Arthur's mouth felt dry. He had a feeling he knew just who this "friend" of Kiku's was. Such an unexpected thing like this was just another product of Arthur's horrible luck.

Arthur didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell Kiku no and just leave, but at the same time he didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings. Arthur didn't have much of a say before he was being lead into the kitchen where a familiar blond man with blue eyes and glasses was leaning up against a counter with a cup in his hand and a smile on his face. Arthur was all too familiar with the smile, it had been one of this favorite things in the world. It was hard not to forget.

The other man must've noticed Arthur too because the blond's smile faltered when their eyes met. Arthur raised an eyebrow in greeting, but the blond looked back to the people he was surrounded with. "So this is what it truly feels like to be ignored," Arthur thought to himself.

In the kitchen Kiku introduced Arthur to his half-brother, Yao Wang, who Arthur had met once before, and Yao's tall Russian friend who had an eerie smile that put Arthur on edge. Arthur was only half paying attention while he was being introduced to a tall dutch man with spiky hair that looked like it was some kind of flower. He kept exchanging looks with the spectacled blond across the kitchen. One would look up while the other looked down, the both of them were secretly hoping that they wouldn't have to talk to each other.

Kiku seemed like he was going to quietly introduce Arthur to everyone in the kitchen area before he got to the main event. Arthur was relieved but on edge at the same time. He wanted to talk to his former sweetheart and get it over with, and quick. Hopefully Arthur would leave pain free, but it was unlikely. It seemed as if he and Kiku were dancing around the room in circles, getting closer and closer to the center. Until...

"Arthur, this is my friend, Alfred F. Jones. Alfred, this is Arthur Kirkland," Kiku said as Arthur found himself standing right in front of Alfred. The two of them didn't even shake hands. Alfred slightly smiled at Arthur, while Arthur just blinked.

"He helped put a lot of this together. Of course, I didn't want a big party. Alfred promised we'd keep it smaller." Kiku stopped and looked at Arthur. The man's facial expression had not changed, but the position of his eyes had. He was looking over the top of Alfred's head. That way it looked like Arthur was looking at Alfred, even if he wasn't. He faked a smile and nodded, seemingly paying attention to any words that Kiku might be saying.

There was a moment of silence. Alfred was looking at Arthur and vice versa. He had a sad smile on his face. "Yeah well, I just like parties." Alfred said it quietly. The words had no specific meaning to anyone, but Kiku smiled. Maybe he was happy with the fact that two of his friends were interacting, but they weren't happy and they were trying their best to not let it show. Maybe Kiku thought they too could become friends, but that wouldn't happen anytime soon. They had only been separated for around a year.

Kiku stood looking at the two men in front of him. His eyes moved from Alfred to Arthur and back again. He didn't really understand what was happening but he was sure he felt a mixed atmosphere. "What? Do you two already know each other or something?" Kiku asked with a raised eyebrow.

With those words, the memories Arthur had been trying to suppress since the moment his eyes laid on Alfred for the first time in a year flooded over him and pulled him into the undertow.

* * *

Arthur could remember the first date anticipation. He waited in his kitchen eating a peach before Alfred picked him up in a small red car. The car ride was short and playful conversation was exchanged. Alfred had decided to bring Arthur to a museum. It was a suggestion from Francis, the person who had set the two up.

The memory of the way Alfred looked when he walked amongst the exhibits, spewing random facts about dinosaurs or why that fish looked that way stung in Arthurs mind. Alfred looked happy, and that ever present smile shined like the sun. Arthur always loved that smile, and that laugh. Throughout the day Alfred had laughed at himself and other things, that was the time when Alfred's laugh wasn't annoying and when it didn't make Arthur want to cry.

Arthur listened and provided when he thought he could, he was more of an observer at that time. Unknowing of how and what to feel, but he knew he felt happy in Alfred's presence. When they walked in the cold from the museum to the designer burger place, Arthur wanted to hold Alfred's hand but didn't. Arthur wanted to kiss Alfred in the middle of the sidewalk in front of everyone, something Arthur would usually never do.

If he could go back, and he wished he could, Arthur would hold Alfred's hand, that way he'd know how much Arthur cared right from the beginning. Arthur cared, he'd always care.

Dinner was a blur, full of blushing and giggling. Arthur felt like he was in highschool again. He felt young and fresh. He loved the way Alfred made him feel.

When the night came to an end and the two of them stood outside of Arthur's door, they gazed into each others eyes dreamily and awkwardly at the same time. Alfred didn't quite know when to go, and Arthur didn't know if a kiss would be appropriate. Contact information was shared and Arthur went to bed with stars in his eyes and blush on his cheeks.

* * *

When the couple shared their first kiss, Arthur was too busy explaining mythical creatures to pick up Alfred's social cues. They were walking in a park, holding hands, and Arthur had noticed that Alfred had been too quiet for too long. "What's wrong? Am I boring you?" Arthur asked, jokingly.

Alfred sighed and said, "No, you're fine. I'm just trying to find a way to enjoy nature and your loud babbling." He laughed and ran his free hand through his hair. Arthur remembered that in that moment, he felt like Alfred could belong in a movie. Arthur laughed too.

The relationship was fresh and they were still awkward, and Alfred was only nineteen. Arthur could feel that Alfred was still stuck in old high school ways of dating, and that was okay. Arthur was okay with going slow.

The two of them found their way to a bench and sat down. "You know," Arthur started, a smile stretch across his lips, "we could sit here and feed the pigeons sometime. Get you acquainted to the big city life, and all that." Alfred laughed and lightly tapped Arthur's head with his own.

They turned to look at each other and Alfred smirked. Without much thinking, Arthur leaned in and kissed Alfred. At first it was quick. Just a peck, a taste of what was yet to come. Most of this was due to the fact Arthur remembered that this was the first time they had kissed each other, and in public at that. Arthur felt nervous, he'd never kissed someone in public before, and he didn't know how Alfred felt about it.

"Um, I'm sorry. Are you alright with me kissing you in public? I mean I know it's an issue for some guys, but I wasn't sure…" Arthur trailed off. He was trying to be polite and respectful of Alfred's boundaries.

"Y-yeah," Alfred responded quietly. Arthur thought it was cute and leaned in for another kiss. This time it was better, and more passionate. Arthur decided this was one of this fondest memories of Alfred. It was one of the only times he had seen Alfred so quiet and vulnerable. Now Arthur was the quiet and vulnerable one.

* * *

The first time Alfred and Arthur had sex they couldn't stop laughing and trembling from nervousness. Alfred swore that he'd had sex with another man before and Arthur believed him. Arthur looked into Alfred's eyes and felt like he could truly see a different side of Alfred that night, and he knew that Alfred felt the same way. He truly believed he felt a deeper bond grow between them that night in that bed.

Arthur felt excited and warm to be this close to Alfred. They touched each others bodies and found out what made them react. Although the first time was awkward and short, they had fun. Arthur kept asking if Alfred was alright and if he felt okay. He didn't want him to be in any pain. Arthur cared.

When they were done they laid in each others arms, breathing hard and blushing. Arthur didn't want to be cliche and admit that that was the moment he fell in love with Alfred, so he kept it in. Seeing such a different and vulnerable side of Alfred grounded Arthur and reminded him that he was with a real and wonderful person. They were together in that bed breathing each other in, skin to skin.

In that moment, under the sheets in the dark, nothing mattered except for Alfred. Arthur was ready to lead a long relationship with Alfred. He was too afraid to say it then, he didn't want to scare him off, so he hoped a kiss was enough. One of Arthur's greatest regrets was never truly telling Alfred exactly how he felt and when he felt it. He always just wanted Alfred to assume what he felt.

That night was the first night they had spent together. They fell asleep in each others arms, happily.

* * *

"I can't believe you'd say something like that to my brothers boyfriend in front of my brother! I mean I know you have some weird grudge against Francis or whatever, but for the sake of us and my brother can you please just be nice? For once? It's not that hard Arthur." Alfred raised his voice at Arthur. They were walking into Alfred's apartment as Arthur received his lecture. Arthur slammed the door behind him.

"Oh really? You want me to be nice? Have you ever tried being nice? I mean, god, Alfred! Your incessant teasing, is really great. Plus, it'd be way easier to be nicer if your brother wasn't dating such an asshole. I can only stand Francis half of the time, and right now is not one of those times." Arthur stood directly in front of Alfred. He was standing his ground and he was fuming.

They had been at Francis and Matthew's for dinner and Francis had been teasing Arthur about his job so he fought back. Arthur had said some rude things, which he never truly regretted, but he did understand how bad they were.

Arthur remembered fighting all the way home. He wanted it to stop. He didn't want to yell, but he couldn't stop once he started. The fight was grinding on them and it had ridden into rocky territory at one point. Arthur was paranoid and afraid that that fight would have been the end of their relationship.

"Arthur! Seriously? How can you still be saying that crap about Francis, still? I know he's kind of annoying sometimes, but Matthew loves him and I love Matthew, so I put up with it. Can't you put up with it too? I consider you a part of our messed up family now. It's me, Matt, Francis, and now you. Can't you please play along? I'm not asking for a lot. I just love you so much and I don't want this to go sour." Alfred's eyes went wide and he shut up real quick.

At that point in their relationship, no one had said their "I love you"s yet. Arthur was taken aback, he truly thought he'd be the one to spill the beans.

"You love me?" Arthur asked quietly. He wanted so badly to smile, but it wasn't the right time. Arthur relaxed from his aggressive stance and stood softly and expectantly looking at Alfred.

"Yes. I love you. I've loved you for the past few months and I never knew when to say it and the whole time we were fighting I kept thinking, 'Don't say it now, don't say it now, don't say it now'. But I did, and now here we are." Alfred shrugged and looked down at the floor.

Arthur stepped forward and took Alfreds hands in his own and looked him in the eyes. They shared a sweet kiss. Arthur pulled away and whispered, "I love you, too."

* * *

"This apartment is so small." Alfred said it like he was stating something extremely obvious. He had the last box from the moving van in his arms. Alfred was starting to feel like he should have left the box in the van. It seemed as if there were boxes stacked up to his eyes.

"Oh stop complaining, it's just a little cozy is all." Arthur's tone came off as a bit harsh.

"A little cozy? Arthur, we had to sell stuff so we could fit. We have to rent a storage unit for all the other crap that can't fit. That's not cozy. It's small."

"Please, tell us how you really feel," Arthur spat sarcastically.

"Geez Arthur can you be serious about this for one second? You're the only reason we're renting this. For me it's far from school, it's small, and I don't have the things I'd like to have."

"You're just used to that big apartment you shared with your brother. This is what we could afford." Arthur thought he was trying to make things better. It wasn't working.

"Maybe so, but this really benefits you more than it does me, Arthur." Alfred was exhausted.

" Yes, well it's simply because I'm more important." Arthur was joking then and thought nothing of it, but the idea of the words now left his mouth sour and dry.

* * *

Three years into their relationship, Arthur could feel that there had been an emotional shift that was just wrong. Ever since April, Arthur had felt that the there was a strong emotional rift ripping between the two of them. The current month was July, it was hot outside, but it couldn't be colder between Alfred and Arthur.

They fought constantly and it seemed like every petty argument and offhanded comment just dug their relationship's grave deeper. Arthur wanted to hold on for dear life, he wanted to grab Alfred and tell him that he loved him and that he cared about their relationship. But Arthur knew at this point, there was no way in hell that Alfred would believe him.

Alfred was growing up and out of his relationship with Arthur. Ironically, Alfred sometimes marked Arthur as the juvenile one, even if Alfred was three years younger. There was too much growth and too much change, and neither of them could handle it anymore.

Arthur had grown too comfortable and some of his not so desirable traits had found their way to the surface. He found himself acting passive aggressive and selfish. At first Alfred put up with it and decided it wasn't that big of a deal, he did love Arthur after all. But after three years of having to deal with Arthur complaining, being selfish, being passive aggressive, and overall just difficult, Alfred started to give up. The worst part was that Arthur could feel and see it happening, and he tried to stop himself, but it never worked for long. Arthur began to see himself dark and evil at the core, and that did not help his cause.

Their relationship came to a sour end a week after Alfred's birthday. Alfred had gotten home from a bad day at school, his professor had made fun of his hypothesis in front of the whole class. He was on the verge of tears as he walked into the apartment he and Arthur shared. "Art… I had a shit day at school, could you turn off the tv? I just wanna sit in silence." Alfred said sadly. He walked over to the couch and sat down next to Arthur, he sunk into the couch with a pathetic look on his face.

"No, I have to watch my program. Can't you go take a nap in the bedroom?" Arthur asked without moving his gaze from the television set. He hadn't looked at Alfred since he walked in the house, his one wrong move.

"Are you serious? Do you even care about what happened? You're not going to ask me anything? You're just going to ignore me and watch your home and garden television?" Alfred was angry but kept his face straight. He didn't want Arthur seeing him cry for fear of it being seen as a weakness.

Arthur was taken aback. He looked over to Alfred. He could see how awful he looked. Arthur realized that Alfred's day must've been shit, but the damage Arthur dealt had already been done. There was nothing he could do now, and he wished it wasn't that way.

"Alfred. I'm sorry I just… I didn't realize. I'm -"

"You're what? What are you Arthur? Huh? For the past four months you haven't given a shit about me at all. You don't seem to care anymore. What did I do? What aren't you telling me? How can you act like this towards me when I love you so much? I've given you everything, but all you've given me is snark and passive aggressive comments. I can't handle it anymore! I can't handle you anymore. I just can't!" Alfred laid it all out on the table. His feelings were bare. One bad move on Arthur's part had led to Alfred spilling the beans.

Alfred stood up and turned away. He was close to tears and he felt like his whole world was spinning and ripping apart at the seams.

"Do you really feel that way?" Was all Arthur could manage to croak out. He couldn't explain himself. He couldn't apologize for not reacting when Alfred walked in the door. Nothing would be good enough. Not now, not ever.

The only sound in the room was the television. The sun was shining outside, and the birds were chirping. Everything around them predicted a good day. But that's not how the world worked inside the apartment on that day.

"Yes," Alfred started quietly, "Yes. That's how I feel. I feel like you don't care. I feel like we've been here together for three years, three wonderful years, but I also feel like it's ending. I feel like we're falling apart and there's no way to fix us. I don't want to fight you, Arthur."

"You want to give up?" Arthur raised his voice and stood up from the couch.

"I guess that's what I want."

"You guess? That's not fair!"

"You're not fair, and life isn't fair!" Alfred whipped around and stared right through Arthur. His gaze was piercing and painful. Tears finally fell slowly and heavily from his eyes. Arthur felt like he was sick. This was all his fault. He couldn't get his emotions across, that was his downfall. Now it was all ending and Arthur was to blame.

"Well then, are you going to leave?" Arthur asked, his voice shaking and his body doing the same.

Alfred stared Arthur up and down. Arthur could see, just like the first night they stayed together, something inside of Alfred had changed. There was no going back from what had happened. Arthur figured he could have done something, he could have made some kind of promise, but nothing was coming to mind and nothing was coming out of his mouth. He was a fish out of water.

"Arthur, I love you. But I can't do this anymore. These three years were really fun, and you made me happy, but I think… I think we've had our run. I'm going to get my stuff and I'm going to be gone for a few days. We'll discuss everything else later, but right now I'm just not feeling like I want to talk to you. I gotta go." Alfred looked at Arthur sympathetically. He walked past Arthur to get some things out of their closet.

Arthur felt his heart break into a million pieces. Everything was over. Everything was done, and it was all his fault. He fell back onto the couch and turned off the television. Arthur's dead eyes stared at the black television screen. His mind was empty. There was nothing he could say or do, it was over.

Alfred left silently. There was no official goodbye, and that ate at Arthur.

Days later they got together and discussed who got what and what went where. They gave up the apartment. Alfred was going to stay with Matthew until he found a place, and Arthur arranged to stay with one of his more friendly co-workers named Michelle. During their conversation over stale coffee, Arthur found it hard to look Alfred in the eyes. He'd never be seeing him again, so he thought. There was a dull pain starting in his heart and reaching to the rest of his body. He wondered if Alfred felt the same.

Even when Alfred left the cafe where they had discussed details, there was no formal good bye. No sappy romance movie ending. No one said, "I'll always love you and care for you". There was nothing. It was depressing and devastating.

Arthur looked into his coffee that he felt was as stale and as black as his soul. "Bye," he whispered.

* * *

"What? Do you two already know each other or something?" Kiku asked, an eyebrow raised.

With that Arthur was brought back to real time. He again felt awful. Tears bit at the back of his eyelids and he felt like he was going to puke. Should he say yes or no? Nothing was going to come out of this anyway, he was sure of it. Alfred had already made his feelings clear by being stand offish. Maybe in the past year, Alfred had miraculously forgotten about Arthur. Arthur had hoped that by some act of some kind of god, that is what had happened and that's why he'd been acting the way he had.

The truth was, Alfred was still hurt, and he was trying to forget, and on some level Arthur knew that. Arthur felt like he should just turn around and walk away. He'd already taken too long to respond because of his violent memory surge, and it'd continue to be an awkward stare off if someone didn't step in and say something.

Arthur's wish was granted when Alfred spoke up. His eyes were still on Arthur, seeming like they'd never move from that place. A small, sad smile appeared on his face as he said, "No. I don't think we've met before."

* * *

**A/N: **I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I will have a playlist dedicated to this fic up on my 8tracks where I am known as pistachioed. Thank you!


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